Strong people do not ask for help.
Don’t cry. Suck it up. Keep moving.
Don’t put your dirty laundry out there for everyone to see.
The list of reasons not to reach out for help goes on and on and on. Asking for help can feel really weird and awkward. Especially if you are used to being strong and independent. Maybe you are the person in your family or your circle of friends who everyone else comes to for help. Maybe you were raised to keep it together and not let anyone know you are unsure, or hurting, or feeling like you are carrying too heavy of a load.
It can be especially hard to ask for help when it comes to our parenting. I have been there. I have gone through that phase. Yes, maybe I felt like I had not slept in days, there were too many things to do and not enough hours in the day, I had been vowing that I would clip my nails but they had been getting longer and more jagged by the day, and I was questioning whether I was raising girls or walking baggies of raw emotion but if anyone had said anything about how I was doing in my parenting or suggested that I needed help being a mom…I would be spitting fire!
I grew out of that phase because it was too exhausting to try to look like I had it all together at all times. Sometimes I wonder how much pain I could have saved myself if I had been quicker to be open about how tough being a mom could be and how I really could have used all the help I could get.
We are people. We are imperfect. We need other people and next time you feel afraid or ashamed of asking for help remember this same thing is true for everyone! You may need someone but, remember, someone needs you too. That is one of the most beautiful things about being human. We all need each other.
Don’t deny someone else the opportunity to offer you some kindness. Whether it is free babysitting, legal help, kind and supportive words, advice, clothes that someone doesn’t need anymore or financial help. Let the people in your life know that you have needs because it does not make you a weaker person. In fact, you give them the opportunity to do something great with their extra resources and that is supporting you. This is one of the bravest things you can do.
I will close with a quote from one of my favorite authors:
“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”